You want to express yourself with confidence.
You can imagine what you want it to be like:
You’ll start talking to someone, and you’ll have all the right things to say.
You’ll feel at ease and excited. The conversation will flow.
And maybe you can imagine speaking to a group, and feeling calm and relaxed and able to enjoy every minute of the spotlight.
But that’s not your current reality.
Right now —
- You might be a student and when you speak up in class, your heart races, your throat dries up, and your voice begins to shake. So instead of contributing to the discussion, you usually just decide not to raise your hand at all.
- Or maybe you’re in the process of looking for a job, and that involves introducing yourself to a lot of new people — which is exhausting and sucks up all of your energy. You’re struggling to feel confident about yourself and your abilities, so instead going to a networking event to meet new people, you choose to stay home and stare at your phone.
- Or maybe you’re already in a job, where you have to interact with lots of different people, and the demands of the job feel like a burden. You feel like you need to constantly perform and impress people, and you’re petrified that someone will notice how nervous and scared you actually are.
These kinds of these situations can be overwhelming and discouraging to a shy, sensitive, deeply caring person, who wants to be authentic and self-expressed.
You tell yourself that if only you were more extroverted — if only you could get rid of these feelings of shyness or social anxiety — then you’d have the confidence to perform any task and be able to speak to anyone you see.
But so far, nothing your family or friends have said is very helpful. You’ve either been too ashamed to tell them what you’re experiencing or else they don’t really understand what you’re going through anyway.
Or maybe you went online, looking for help. Maybe you’ve searched Google or looked on social media. If you haven’t found what you’re looking for, then it might be because the standard answer is usually to rationalize your thinking and learn to fit in better to school and work environments.
Well, my approach is different.
I’ve experienced all of the things described above, and struggled with them for years. And with every attempt I made to overcome my fears, I would make small amounts of progress. But the happiness and the confidence, that I was hoping for, would elude me every time.
That’s why I’m committed to discovering and sharing alternative perspectives that can make a transformational difference with all of these difficult social experiences.